i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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