Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
