And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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