1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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