I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
