A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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