id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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