So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
