I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
