i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i've created a new STD.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
