I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
