That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I love you.
Bad choice
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
