I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
