Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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