whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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