I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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