He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You pole danced in your parka.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
