He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize