Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize