the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
