The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
