Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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