how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
soo... how was my night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
