So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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