I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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