Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize