I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
