Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
