Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
