He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
