break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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