Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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