I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Mom said you looked used
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
