Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
