I want to make a zoo with you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
