i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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