I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
