He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
