Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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