i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
did i just pee glitter
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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