Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
