She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
