God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize