meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
