In America we eat man semen.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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