i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
