My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
