Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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