when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
