im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
