I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
