Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
