I hate all girls vehemently.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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