when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im holly from the hills drunk
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
