Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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