The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
