May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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