Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
