nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
