its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
