Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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