I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
