Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
