I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
